Would You Like a Cup of Tea?

I had the worst day at work today. Details I won't bore you with, internet. But really, I want a job where the issue on which I must stand firm and hold the line is not, I repeat not, that no matter how many times a person crashes her head into the wall while screaming obscenities that person is still required to give me a little bit of token assistence while I scrub the urine stained mattresses (yes, plural), sheets, three sets of clothing and two blankets that the aforsaid person pissed on in an early morning fit of spitefullness.
Malicious peeing is really where it's at and it's something I'm thinking about taking up. God. I am so damn hostile these days! I have totally abandoned my old 'live and let live' policy towards stupidity and antisocial behavior. What if I just started sneaking into the homes of people who bug me and peeing all over their suff?
I've keyed 1 hummer and 2 Candillac Escalades in the past 48 hours. I've scratched "Pig" into their driver's side door. Yeah, I know, how Sadie Mae Glutz of me. But I'm a weenie about vandalism and I can't think of anything equally short that will express a similiar sentiment. I feel pretty justified about it, like it's my own personal throwback to the days of branding thieves and making lepers wear a bell. If you are going to be a goddamn pig about everything then you should have to drive around with a personal reminder of it slowly rusting your sty-mobile and announcing your pig status to everyone you meet.